Taken too soon.

I have been wanting to get back here for so long. I have so many great things to pass on. Sadly, today isn't going to be a wonderful, upbeat post of all the exciting things that have happened while I've been MIA.

Today I am brought here to grieve. To grieve for a little soul I never met. To grieve for her parents who now have the tragic ordeal of burying her. She wasn't even given a chance as she fought for those first breaths while her parents held her, praying for some kind of a miracle that would never eventuate. To have already lost her twin only a few months back, sent to heaven with the nine other little souls you had to let go too soon. To have finally been able to settle a little and begin to enjoy this pregnancy and think that finally, it's going to be okay. To be sick, hormonal, cuddling your growing tummy so lovingly and appreciating that precious bundle inside of you more so than most mothers to be.

To have that all ripped away so soon. To know there was nothing you could have done as your waters broke and the realisation set in. She is too tiny to make it. No Doctor can do a damn thing. As you rush to the hospital in panic, knowing what was to come, your world being ripped out from under you. How do you recover from that? Loss after loss after loss. This time was different. You'd made it past the "safe" point. When do you decide no more. You are stronger than I. I am thinking of your precious little girl tonight and praying you can get through this. I am so very sorry for your loss.

On my soapbox!

You know when you read something and it really pisses you off and there is nothing you can do about these self centred people?! Well except for blog about it instead I guess?!.... 

This is probably going to tick a few people off but this is my blog and MY opinion on things so what does it matter?

Okay so I was having a look at a 'like' on a friends fb page when I stumbled across a subject in a support group about... Basically one woman brought up the subject of how she can't sympathise with loved ones when the complain about how unwell they are if sick, while she suffer's from chronic pain, fybro, lupus, whatever etc... I'm actually not even sure what it is she suffers from but I'm amusing it's not nice. 

She then had quite a few comments agreeing with this and saying how they completely understand how she can say this. Some saying how they want to laugh in their faces and horrible things like that. Now I don't suffer from lupus and I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like but I do suffer from a great deal of other things that a lot of people don't know about. 

All their complaining in my eyes was very selfish. It's also really sad. I have chronic pain among other things but that's a whole other blog... It's pretty freaking bad.. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I haven't thought for one second when anyone has told me of their sufferings.. Well suck it up because I deal with more.. NO, I sympathise because I don't let shit like that consume me. And yes chronic pain or anything of the sort is pretty darn consuming and sometimes there seems to be no out but guess what?! I'm alive to see another day... The four year old who suffering from cancer and died last week isn't.. Yeah, you really need to look at life a little bit different. 

I have read 'The Spoon Theory" and it's a great way of explaining what chronic suffers, fybro, lupus etc go through. I am so glad Christine Miserandino came up with this way of explaining so that we can all have a better understanding. That still doesn't change my views on things in the sense that I would never laugh at someone who doesn't suffer as bad as the next. That's a crock. How could you ever wish for anyone to know what you are dealing with? I wouldn't wish it on an enemy! 

So yeah I'm coming off my soapbox now but I just wish people would take the time to not be so selfish. We all have our own problems and just because someone has the flu and feels like they're dying doesn't mean they deserve any less attention than the next. I am glad they think the flu makes them feel like they're dying because it means they haven't felt worse.. 

I'm really liking this song today!

I'm really loving this song today. It's so calming. It remind's me of a summers day at the beach. The wind blowing, the waves rolling, the beachy air all around.. LOVE it!

Just thought I'd share....

I have a new favourite web site..... Shoes of Prey. I absolutely love it. Now this wonderful company lets you design your own shoes and once you've finished, will make them up and send them on their merry little way to your awaiting tootsies.

I can't begin to describe how much fun it is to design your own shoes. I am always searching for the perfect heels and in my head they're there but when I start hunting I never quite find the exact ones. Now I can. Go and check the site out and have a little fun of your own. Any colour, any style, material... Oh it's great!

You wont be disappointed. I have just placed an order and am now waiting for them to arrive.. I can't wait!

Hope you all enjoy it as much as I have xo

Ladies, we have a problem!

Oh my goodness GRACIOUS ME! Yeah... can you tell I'm a little bit panicked today?!  Eeeccck! Yeah so my wonderful and dearest friend gave me the most wonderful and perfect Christmas present EVER... Design your own shoes.. Perfect. So I have been waiting for a time that we can actually sit down and have a few wines and together, design my precious heels.

Okay so on the day I cried because she is so thoughtful and knows me sooo freaking well that it overwhelmed me. Not only that but the money it does cost for one pair of  these heels.... a little bit more than my normal shoe spending anyway. So I've had this voucher tucked away for safe keeping and finally decided that clearly we are not going to get the time in our hectic schedule's to do it together so I went ahead and designed the heels that we had talked about and they looked so pretty and I was nearly peeing my pants with excitement until I realised the voucher is gone.  GONE I tell you.... vanished without a trace.

I'm thinking of calling in the detectives as I type because clearly this is an emergency! You can hear it now can't you..."Triple 000, what's your emergency?" "Umm, well, yes, you need to cancel whatever homicide case or bank robbery or that saving lives thing you do and get you butts to my house and start looking for clues as to where my design your own heels voucher is gone. It's really important because I have a really nice LBD that I can where them with in a couple of weeks so get to it".  Beep, Beep, BEEP! Yeah, clearly that's not going to work.

I have been holding back tears while tearing the place apart and I've come up with nothing but a $100 giftcard that I had forgotten about... Clearly not important when The Perfect Heels are at stake. I am going to drive myself batty until I find it and I'm wasting precious moments writing about this but if I keep going now I think I will have a full blown panic attack and right now I can't deal with that. OMG! I am so very glad that this is my biggest problem at the moment and I may come across as a princess for writing all this but this is kinda a problem since I LOVE shoes and these shoes were perfect. Okay well I am off in search for my voucher because there is no other agency that is going to come to my aid in the terrible time of need... Unless any of you know of someone I can call? ;-) Oh The drama LOL

Hope you are all having a wonderful day and I will post a picture of my shoes if & when I find the voucher and can actually get them in my hot little hands.

Really loving this at the moment..

This is my... 'I'm loving' song at the moment. I thought I'd share with you beautiful people too xox

Australia Day!

Since we are celebrating Australia Day ( my favourite day of the year) I thought I'd share some of my favourite things about Australia. We are pretty lucky to have such a beautiful country.

 My number one would have to be without a doubt..... Our beaches! They are beautiful and I have spent many days lazing on them. The beach is my favourite place in the world. 

Number two would have to be the fact that 99.9 percent (clearly not a fact as I personally haven't done surveys & can't stuffed looking it up to see if it has been done) of Australians would not know their own Anthem.... I am one of them. I know the first bit but seriously... do we need any more of it anyway?!  

My Favourite version of our Anthem is this.....

Number three would be the animals. I adore Koala's and I have a soft spot for the Wombat!

I mean seriously, how cute are these little guys!? 

But anyway... this list is endless with things I love here. Here's what I did today.... 

Beach Time! 

Cricket Time! 

BBQ Time! 

Family Time!

And sadly.....

Sunburnt. AGAIN! You'd think after 27 years in the Australian sun my skin would be able to tolerate it a little.. nope. This is with 3 applications of sunscreen too. 

Okay so I hope you all had a great day celebrating Australia and hopefully listening to the one and only... Triple J's Hottest 100. It's not Australia Day without it! 

Goodnight all xoxox

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie... Oi, Oi, Oi! 

This one's for you babe.

I have sat by and watched it all fall apart... and gosh did it fall apart. Nothing slow about it, just smack, there's a million pieces. You could've have left it all... thrown it all away but you stopped and started picking the pieces up.. one by one you've picked up the tiny shards and have begun gluing them all back together.

It hasn't been easy. Every single day has been a struggle but you are doing it. You are not alone. You have many around you holding the pieces while the glue dries.
We'll help you. I know there's still bits breaking... big bits, but it's going to be okay. I know in my heart just as much as you do that it really will be okay.

My prayers are with you and your family tonight and always.


You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world has thrown your way..........

It's days like these where I want to pick something up and throw it at a hairdresser!

Okay so I finally bit the bullet and went and had my haircut... not just a tinsy itsy bitsy trim... an actual haircut. Now my hair has been pretty long for a couple of years now & I've gradually gone from waist length hair to mid length to bammm bitches we now have an ugly crop do.

I did my research & even went on a site that you can add wigs to your own picture and found the perfect shorter hairstyle to suit me. It was past my shoulders, straight, slight concave through the front... pretty sexy look actually and I went in all confident that I will for once come out with the hair I want.

The hairdresser asked me what I was after & we went through these details before she began cutting. I specifically said nothing above my shoulders & she asked if I wanted any layers put through.. ahh no lady... I don't want anything chunky.. something nice and sleek.

End result... An above the shoulder hacked at do that I can't do anything with and as my son describes it... HIDEOUS!


                                              I have gone from this....

                                          To this in the space of days......

I left thanking her with a smile on my face only to walk out the doors and nearly cry. I am still trying to hold it together now. Why couldn't I just say... Ah you stupid cow you ruined my hair?? Why couldn't I throw a tanty then and there and really show how I felt?? I always do it... I leave unhappy and cry for days about it to everyone else instead.

What makes me so mad is the fact that I was going to cut it myself... the length I wanted myself! I was told I'd regret it and to go to a hairdresser and now I'm kicking myself... If I'd screwed it up I'd only have myself to blame... now I want to scream at this lady and I really hate that. She can't help that she's a silly twat. It's not her fault she can't listen... or is it? I should have spoken up then and there.

I have always wanted to be a hairdresser. I would actually listen to the client and give them the style they want... If at any time I was unsure of what they wanted I would stop and clarify instead of screwing it up completely.

Oh well. There's nothing I can do about it now. I am stuck with short hair for quite a long time. I'm just hoping it'll grow fast.. it usually does.

New year!

Happy New year to everyone. I wish you nothing but happiness for 2011. I pray that you will all be safe & protected. 

Love to you all. 

Goodbye 2010 & welcome 2011 xoxo 

This is where I'll be seeing the new year in. I hope you all have a wonderful evening doing whatever it is you'll be doing! Enjoy xo